Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Personal: I wish I could say...

But on Saturday, December 4, 2010
(And the time was exactly 07:48AM, as the Short Text Message in my moblile phone shows)
Love run away from me.
It left a message, this love; sad, sad message:

"I cherished the moments we had,
And everything we shared.
However, I write to inform you that, with effect from today (I have said it was December 4, 2010; 07:48AM),
There is nothing special between us.
Find a place in your heart to forgive me".

I was a mender-of-soles' place
That hour of morning.
Happy, up beat,
Preparing for the day that entered the ring with a fullsome sun,
Reflecting on pieces of glass on the ground,
Moving gradually through the blueless sky.

"Hey, read the text message before I do", I told the mendr-of-soles
-Only that he was mending a white belt, this time.
The handler-of-worn shoes read the message,
And was fooled by the word cherish,
And said the tidings were good,
Timely for a day with a shining sun.
"I swear it's good news; it is love in a mobile phone's inbox," he said, eating mangoes, after touching the soul of a bent shoe, whose to and fros he knew not.

Somethings we eat,
The way we eat:
Life is a question.

So, happily
I read the message,
And was never fooled by the word 'cherish'.
200 calls went unanswered,
When in the past the other side was a robbot:
-At the whim of a mouthless gadget.
No more.

Thus started the blues,
-Bad days for sure.
Tuesday was better,
As it was the chooosing day:
Happy of gloom?

And the tabernacle-of-clay that carried the love is gone.
And went with a big lie,
Revealed during the 201st call attempt:
"Hullo," said the other side.
(What was supposed to be a love)
"I mean exactly as I have put it".
"So, you mean to say we have bee living a lie:
I have been living a lie,
This long?"
"Thanks, good luck"

Life ends in yap.

Then, came the call from the other side
The side was love no more:
Nothing like the 'Hullo" before.
"Yap," I said, taking it from Saturday morning.
"I wish to say..."
"No. Don't you know I was hurt?
And that I have realised,
That all the hurt and unbelief,
And pain,
And anger..
Was because.., I mean
Was not because of you?
I thought I was heart-broken for losing you,
But, but now I know,
It wasn't you,
At all, at all.
It was me,
Paying tribute to my love,
Knowing I can love and be loved,
And be dumped and grabbed.
Yes, the hurt and the pain..
I was paying tribute to my love.
Only that, my tribute tended to attach a face to this,
My love,
And the face was that of you.
No, I wasn't crying for you,
It is my love I was paying tribute to.
Go, go away."

"Go, go away.
I couldn't sleep past three days since Saturday,
And it was because of you.
My left arm could grab dead wood and feel nothing.
I though it was a heart attack,
Attacking because of you".


"Go, go away.
I am busy patching up my heart,
Before I give it away again".

The love is gone. 

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