Why They Hated Gulewamkulu

Malawi's indigenous cultures did not stand a chance in the fluid interplay of Western culture and the so-called civilisation.
In countries such as Malawi, initial contact between Western culture-- meaning, in this case, the Christian missionaries-- has been complementary as well as problematic.
To begin with, the missionaries' work was complementary in the sense that their aesthetic acts brought about health guarantees.
At one point before Quinine became part of the arsenal against malaria, to have malaria meant having an unsolicited appointment with death. Malaria was a death sentence.
But not completely a death sentence, of course, for, traditionally, Africa has had natural remedies to malaria. You talk of avocado leaves You talk of bluegum leaves heated in a pot. A patient who inhales the hot air has always had relief from malaria. It is like malaria's parasites dissolve in the vapour, head for the clouds, and becomes tomorrow's rains.
The beauty of African medicine, you may say. The only problem could have been that African malaria drugs did not cure quickly enough, but that is talk for another day.
Going very quickly to the problems associated with contact between the Western missionaries and African traditions, the missionaries' disdain for gulewamkulu explains it all.
Gulewamkulu had subtle but clear messages, and the missionaries did not like it. They called it evil and those who converted to Christianity quickly abandoned gulewamkulu and embraced the gospel.
In so doing, they left their rich past behind. A past they had known for something they never knew.

Fischer Kondowe Says He Has Five More Years to Play Football

So, Nyasa Big Bullets and former Malawi National Football team's winger Fischer Kondowe's inner consciousness is stronger than his tiring legs?
The connection between Fischer and retirement from football is crossed again by that of his reluctance to hang his boots and focus on his mouth; something like coaching and the like.
Well, not Fischer, who, certainly, does not want to retire from fame and occupy a liminal space in which he must accept to play a role off the pitch when a football match is in session.
The mystical success of Fischer, who has won everything on Malawi's domestic soccer scene, and even strutted his stuff in South Africa's Absa Premier League, refuses to succumb to the blurring-shed of old age, more so when we consider that Fischer's lips are about to kiss 'Mr. 40 Years'' lips, and Mr. 40 Years is not particularly known for his physique, relentlessness, and for more.
Mr. 40 Years likes to look after his children, instead. He does not even tend to his garden, Mr. 40 Years, or wash his fleet -- mmmmmmmm, are two vehicles a fleet, mmmmmmmm? -- of vehicles. The children, whether biological or adopted-- take care of that job.
But Fischer is not even interested in listening to anything to do with Mr. 40's behaviour. It has to do with Fischer, and Fischer only.
After all, it is well known that there is no relationship between the approaching Mr. 40 and Fischer. If anything, it is Mr. 40 Years who imposes himself on Fischer.
Suppose Fischer --we are saying, just imagine-- and 39 and he was to cross into a river called 40 because there is no other way of getting into the Highway of 41 without waving bye to Mr. 40. Does Fischer plead with Mr. 40 to let him ( Fischer) walk freely to 41?
No, Mr. 40 will impose himself on Fischer, and say, you are 40.
Even if Fischer says no, Mr. 40 will still say: You are 40!
This Mr. 40 Years! Too possessive.
Well, Fischer does not care. There is no wrong side of life, no right side of age.
And, so, talking about his football, Fischer tells Zachimalawi: "I thank Jah for being on my side all these years. I have heard some people, including journalists, say, 'When will you retire?' Well, I still have the will to carry on, the energy to take me from one spot to another on the pitch. I still have five more years of active football in me and, by that, I mean playing on the pitch."
The strong will Fischer has is the escape route from the limitations imposed by age!

Malawi Defence Force soldiers' bullying works light for Zomba City

Three days after Malawi Defence Force officers stormed Electricity Supply Corporation of Malawi offices in Zomba City, Zomba has not known black-outs again.
Whereas Zomba used to experience debilitating power outages, sometimes only 'enjoying' only three hours of uninterrupted power supply,Zomba has never known so much happiness since the blackouts came back to haunt Malawian.
Of course, the Shire River, Lake Malawi's only outlet, is drying up. The Blantyre Water Board, which taps it's untreated water from Shire River, has found itself on its knees-- literally, as the water levels have receded and officials at Walkers Ferry to to bend down harder just to draw a gallon of water (and this latter part is a joke, really)-- and the talk everyday is about when life shall get back to normal in the city of Blantyre.
Today, it has become commonplace for Blantyre City residents to go four, five days without a drop of water.
Patience is running out fast as thirst and unpleasant feelings build up.
But water is not Zomba's problem. If anything, water is the most abundant resource in Zomba. And it is cooler than the water min Blantyre.
Maybe because Mudi Dam, the source of Blantyre Water Board's water-- after the deterioration of Chiwembe Dam and Chimwankhunda Dam-- is situation far away from Soche Hill and Ndirande Hill.
Not so with Zomba, where Mulunguzi Dam dances under the shadow of Zomba Mountain, a mountain that dances under the shadow of,natural forests, forests that dance under direct sunlight. As biting as an African sunshine can be.
But, the thing is, there is darkness in people's hearts at the moment, despite the continued supply of sun rays. With the incessant water supply shortages in Blantyre and power outages in Zomba are making people angry.
Maybe Malawi Defence Force soldiers should also storm Blantyre Water Board offices in Blantyre. After all, there is a Malawi Defence Force camp at Chichiri in Blantyre.
These service failures must be brought to an end. Somehow.
Someday.
That day being now.

Camouflaged Malawi Defence Force soldiers storm ESCOM offices

It is so hard to be in Malawi and not get used to the darkness. Perpetual darkness that is!
But it is difficult to be a soldier, patriotic soldier, for your country and be subjected to perpetual blackouts. Power outages. Blackouts. Does it make any difference?
Darkness is darkness.
Now, realising that these are peaceful years and it does not make sense for a camouflaged soldier to be subjected to the camouflage-of-darkness during times when peace is the national anthem, Malawi Defence Force soldiers (15 of them to be precise) visited Electricity Supply Corporation of Malawi (ESCOM) offices in Zomba on Thursday last week and repeated the act Saturday ( meaning, today) at around 9 am.
Make no mistake about it, they were in their camouflaged attire, ready to defend themselves from blackouts perhaps. But they were not armed to the teeth, in terms of weaponry. Their greatest weapon today was anger. The anger they held in the tanks of the emotions.
And their other weapon was their dressing. It was like they brought 'war' into ESCOM offices in Zomba.
Their demand, as if it were a simple thing to ask: Stop switching off electricity at Cobbe Barracks!
It seems there are no blackouts at Changalume Barracks, also in Zomba. Why, if that is not the case, did Malawi Defence Force solders from Changalume not join their colleagues?
Well, the soldiers further complained that the blackouts are negatively affecting their work at the barracks.
Too much darkness creates a war-like atmosphere somehow. And nobody likes it because peace tastes like roast meat! Sorry vegetarians but what vegetable smells like meat?
Well, the soldiers' displeasure is a reflection of the anger that is sweeping through the nation.
It has become a way of life for people to have hydro-electric power three hours a day.
This does not inspire confidence in anyone, let alone industry players.
Energy Minister, Bright Msaka, seems tactless, too. The best he has done is to accuse ESCOM of failing Malawian. Really?
For the time being, even the soldiers are not happy! Anger a soldier and you douse the flame of patriotism in them.
And that is not akin to playing with fire. It is actually playing with fire using the weapon of darkness. The sort of darkness only ESCOM can conjure up.
Let light come, starting with the barracks.

Zomba: Crumbling into the ruins of memory

Zomba City
Malawi's former Capital City, Zomba, remains as desolate and forgotten as ever. Just look at the picture above, taken by Jarson Malowa Saturday morning.
It is a perfect depiction of a dream of colour gone terribly wrong.
When the one party regime established Zomba as, first, a city and, then, Capital City, the idea was to turn it into a launch-pad for development. A former of physical map for development.
But Zomba, established as a preffered city for the white settlers, has lost track.
In those days, when the white settlers discovered that Zomba had a, somewhat, European climate that made life easy under the rays of the sun that hit, but hit with consideration, the hairless skin of a four-month-old baby.
The idea was to develop Zomba, infracture-wise, by changing the shape of the infrastructure.
So, they made the city, Zomba City, the abode of Parliament. Zomba Central Hospital was there to provide quick-fire medical attention, with the army (that is before Malawi Army changed to Malawi Defence Forces) base there to offer protection from outside threats.
Zomba was meant to be great. That is why the Malawi National Examinations Board headquarters are in Zomba. That is why Government Print, where all government publications are printed, is in Zomba.
But whatever dream disturbed the minds of those forward-looking people has been disturbed. Zomba's fall from the dream of colour started when, in the nick of time, someone decided to move Parliament from Zomba to Lilongwe. Yes, to move the Capital from Zomba to Lilongwe-- oh, dusty Lilongwe!
After that someone made, by word of mouth, that decision, someone, also by word of mouth, declared that Zomba be stripped of its city status. Zomba was a municipality-- stripped bare by lack of a Parliamentary building, reduced to ashes by the merciless deprivation of its Capital City status, trimmed to size by the further beating following Zomba's humiliation to the status of a municipality.
And, yet, someone else re-declared Zomba a city but fell short of re-declaring it a Capital City. It is because Lilongwe has moved on after Zomba's fall.
And it seems Zomba is unlikely to rise again. Already,former president, the late Bingu wa Mutharika's colour-dream to turn Zomba State Residence into a state-of-the-art hospital. Like Bingu, the dream lies in black-and-white at the back of policy-makers' minds.
And Zomba business premises look sorrier than a street kid, as seen above.
Zomba's dreams crumble into the pieces of non-existence. Zomba buildings crumble while standing.

Yoneco: The Number One Enemy to Studies!

Are you deep in studies and, as one way of attaining your academic goals, you have been assigned by your class lecturer to visit Youthnet and Counselling (YONECO)Fm or any of their affiliated institutions just to find out how the institutions operate, in terms of decision-making, and how that affects, positively or negatively, operations?
Have you agreed to carry out the exercise by booking an appointment with the aim of carrying out your task?
Sorry but, truthfully, you may end up wasting your time because YONECO owners (meaning, the decision makers, the directors) are always afraid.
Yes, they are always afraid of the unknown and will, ultimately, not grant you your request.
They pretend, at first, to be helpful, before they start throwing one excuse after another at you.
In the end, they will simply do their best to make sure that you do not visit them; to make sure that they do not give you the information you require.
For a long time, YONECO had been known for its outreach programmes, mainly targeting the youth. Many a youth have been pulled out of the jaws of early marriages, early pregnancies and, for some time, Malawian realised that the youth could really change things for the better in Malawi.
Then, as one way of making outreach tasks easy, YONECO big wigs decided to establish a radio station in early 2015.
It came with a bang, with salaries that were better than at some established radio stations.
What's more, YONECO FM has a fleet of cars others can just dream of. That is good for media progress in Malawi.
Since its establishment, a number of media, communication and journalism students have knocked on YONECO's doors, asking for information on, say, how long does it take for a news event to be given the green light to go on air by the bosses? What is the chain of command? And other simple issues.
And, in all cases, YONECO big wigs, who have to make every decision, pretend to be helpful, but always chicken out at the last minute.
What they are afraid of, nobody knows.
No one wants to know how they manage the institution? No. Nobody wants to know how they manage the finances, let alone where they get them? No.
If anything, people just want to know how decisions are made and that helps the organisation achieve its goals and YONECO management is always afraid of such innocent questions.
Well, in running away from being helpful, in running away from these innocent issues, you are attracting unnecessary curiosity into your affairs. You serve the listener, not so? A listen who is not private, not so?
What is it that you hide at YONECO? What are you unwilling to help out on academic issues?
Look, of all the radio stations and media houses involved in the business of selling news, only YONECO FM refuses to give out information for academic purposes.
It is like they are always suspecting that you want to steal their business ideas, otherwise whatever ideas they have hatched. It turns out, they are anti-progress, anti-education and anti-youth.
From the look of things, and in YONECO's case, the youth cannot always be helpful!

The challenge of enforcing TNM Super League Rights

In Blantyre, the home of Malawi's soccer mecca Kamuzu Stadium, it is difficult to capture moving images, or videos, of TNM Super League games.
And it is understandable.
For the first time, Malawians have embraced the concept of buying rights to beam Super League games. Which is a step in, eeeh, the right direction because ours is a semi-professional league. It is a league where a Nyasa Big Bullets player would be playing in a heated match against Mighty Be Forward Wanderers during the day, and, then, report for duties as a guard somewhere in the evening.
Sure enough, a semi-professional league where a Mighty Be Forward Wanderers player would feature in a tough game against Capital City giants, Silver Strickers, and, then, report for duties as a barman in the evening.
Yes. A semi-professional league where a Silver Strickers' player would feature in a game as Lilongwe City rivals, Civo, and then resume his duty as foreman at a tobacco estate in Lilongwe Rural.
Yes, a semi-professional league where a Civil Service United player would participate in a match against Moyale Barracks and report for duties as a messenger the next day.
Or, a semi-professional league where unemployed youth join Malawi Defence Force sides, namely Mafco, Moyale Barracks, Red Lions, among others, just to secure a job as a private soldier in the military.
The same applies to Malawi Police Service side, Blue Eagles. The side provides an escape route into employment to some young men who impress with their legs and not brains.
So, when Beta TV signed a multi-million Super League right buy-out contract, it was like someone had breathed a bucketful of flesh air in the, otherwise, semi-professional TNM Super League.
And, all of a sudden, Zodiak Broadcasting Station Television could no longer broadcast the matches live. A new landlord was clearly in charge.
Suddenly, Times Television could not capture footage for its sports programmes. If anything, their only hope of bringing a sense of life to life in the Super League are still photos. Nothing else. A montage of still photos and nothing else.
Even Malawi Broadcasting Corporation, long used to getting things tickled over its back know, has found itself in new territory.
No need to talk of Joy Television, or AFJ Television, or of the other televisions station so in the country.
At least radio stations are at an advantage. They can still broadcast live. So long as they get a sponsor. Another sponsor other than TNM. Or, if they are lucky, TNM itself.
It must be said that Malawi has 73 radio stations, according to the Malawi Communications Regulatory Authority.
From the look of things, therefore, the practice of buying rights has come to stay. For sure, it will be difficult for Beta Television to recover K300 million-plus it has invested in Malawi soccer. But it is clear that the Super League of Malawi has made a killing out of this experiment carried out in a semi-professional league that is the TNM Super League.
However,while televisions stations are finding it tough to capture moving images without buying rights from Beta Television, I was disappointed when I went to watch a match between Mighty Be Forward Wanderers and Red Lions at the bumpy-as-a-crocodile-tail Zomba Community Centre Ground mid-week.
Reporters and cameramen captured video footage unperturbed. It was as if they owned the ground, and the rights.
Here were personnel from different television stations capturing video footage for 10 to 30 minutes non-stop. And there was nobody to stop them.
Will the TNM Super League rights issues be enforced only at the Kamuzu Stadium in Blantyre, Silver and Civo stadia in Lilongwe and Mzuz Stadium in the Northern Region?
Surely, someone, somewhere, rolled out an initiative when the preparations were only half done.
Really, do we expect Beta Television to enforce the rights? Should Beta employ police officers to carry out the job or it is the responsibility of the Super League of Malawi?
To say the truth, rules should be enforced in full measure, and not half measures; in all football grounds, and not some and not others!

Freedom at its best!

It would have been unheard of in the past.
Primary school learners were then expected to be disciplined; to obey every word from a teacher.
As university students demonstrated, learners just watched--as if they were eagles perched in trees.
But things changed during former president Joyce Banda's regime. When teachers took industrial action, learners in Blantyre took to the streets.
They did not only storm onto the streets; they sang!
What we're the songs? Ng'ombe yaikazi sikoka ngolo (a female cow cannot pull a cart)!
Well, nobody knows who taught the learners, aged between 6 and 13 years that song.
But everyone knows they were referring to Joyce Banda rule, in the context of gender. They were implying that a woman cannot lead a nation. Such prejudiced thinking!
Today, pupils from Chilinde, Area 23 marched. Why? They are angry because they are not learning.
Why? Teachers are on a sit-in.
Why? They want salary increments.
Why? The government has been playing a fast one.
The Teachers Union of Malawi held meetings with government representatives several times this year. But the outcome was not even less satisfactory. It was outright unsatisfactory.
The Ministry of Education is, at best, myopic in its handling of serious issues.
Teachers are simply taken for granted.
Just imagine, the Ministry of Education promoted primary school teachers on March 14, 2012.
The promotions, replete with improved working conditions, would be effected immediately.
Up to now, the teachers are still receiving salaries they were getting in 2012, if we exclude the peanut increments they have been getting since then.
Some of the primary school teachers are in Zomba Rural, some are in Blantyre, some are in Chitipa. In short, they are scattered throughout the country.
I asked Ministry of Education spokesperson, Manfred Ndovi, the other day,and his response was: "Some of the teachers have not met the conditions they were supposed to meet".
Okay. But what for those who fulfilled the conditions?
Are teachers children of one biological mother and father to receive to be subjected to one-wrong-fits-all action?
Somehow, somewhere, we do things wrongly.
I will not be surprised to hear primary school learners sing one day: A male ox cannot pull a big cart!

Reverend John Chilembwe is Over-rated for Nothing

It is funny how people think of Reverend John Chilembwe as the best thing that ever happened to Malawi-- when Malawi was not even an idea; when the communal spirit of nationality was far from being born.
The truth is that Chilembwe was a flop!
Come to think of it. After Chilembwe came back from the United States of America, he set up a church (in his Chiradzulu District) that is a classic example of stunted growth!
The church he established, Providence Industrial Mission, is like Malawi's political parties: home-based! You will never find a branch of his church in Chitipa, or Salima or Blantyre.
He could not think beyond his home district, even in his religious thinking. He was a selfish man.
Then, there is the bit about going around and cutting white settlers' heads. What Chilembwe needed was guns, ammunition, and the power that came with them.
He wanted to protect his church men and women from the white settlers menace, establish himself as the lord of that area. Nothing more. Nothing national.
And, for your information,Chilembwe--the Reverend-- had two slaves he had bought from Mozambique: Paton Miguel and Amigo Ricco. They worked for him day and night, and he did not even convert them to join his church. Chilembwe was a calculating man. He knew that converting him would mean he would start looking at them with a brother's eye-- and Chilembwe was no brotherly figure. Like modern-day prophets-- the so-called prophets-- he was a businessman who never had thoughts about people from other areas.
Why, then, is he over-rated?
Simple: He went to America, learned their religious doctrine through education at that sell-out theological college. Oh, he could even speak their language too: English!
Worst of all, he was following their god. Their idea of God.
So, as a puppet, they hyped his name.
But there is someone who did far greater work for this country-- someone who was greater than John Chilembwe-- but whose only 'sin' in their eyes-- you know who?-- was not to speak their language, not to follow their god.
It is Mataka, the no-nonsense Mataka I am talking about. His story has to be retold. His story is so nationalistic it is touching!

Land! Land! Land!

Land is a word that will, for a long time to come, embody the deep fractures of colonialism.
More so because commonality of experience on land issues matters and differs.
Come to think of it, People's Land Organisation, led by Vincent Wandale, has been busy issuing threats that they would occupy private land used as tea plantations in Thyolo and Mulanje.
Nobody took them seriously.
For some time, the temptation was to see the threats as the sidekicks of a desperate human being-- or, rather, human beings.
They said, I mean those in the government, freedom of exxpression is there for all to take.
Well, until Wandale allegedly decided to mobilise people in the village and, according to his bidding, they occupies estate land, damaging some property here and there.
Wandale's position is that Malawi's colonial ruler should pay compensation to the people of Thyolo-- or else the people would repossess the land.
Wandale has been saying what happened is a great injustice to the people of Mulanje and Thyolo, who have been put in a corner in their own country while tea grows healthily, even shaking in the wind, in a land that was supposed to be their own.
It is like, in Wandale's view, cultural domination continues even after Malawi crossed the Independence, and the multiparty politics, line.
Now, forgetting that the right of speech is, on paper, potentially open to all including rural women and men who escorted to the estates and, or took part in, re-occupying the land, Wandale threatened one last time, and, again, nobody listens.
What followed was lawlessness at its best and Wandale is remanded at Chichiri Prison and faces four charges including that of illegally occupying land, malicious damage to property, conduct likely to cause breach of peace.
Finally, despite y he promise of sunny days, Wandale has spent y he past three days in the dark cells at Chichiri Prison.
Before two years ago, I would have condemned Wandale.
But I am a Communication and Cultural Studies scholar, and I understand things better now.
And, so, I will not condemn Wandale's ideas. They are revolutionary.
His action was not.
And, there, lies the problem.
Now, change.org has started a campaign, and written a petition to be delivered to President Peter Mutharika.
There lies another problem. The president does not arrest people. People 'arrest' themselves!

I just do not know who has arrested himself this time around.
And I do not know who may be about to release him.
I do not know.

Crocodiles on Bird Island

Birds Island lies silent, as a crocodile, in Lake Malawi.
It is a mountain, somewhere in Monkey Bay, Mangochi, District.
It is as if a hippopotamus, its oxygen reserves depleted, has come out for an air-load of life.
That's Birds Island for you.
Are you looking for crocodiles in Lake Malawi? You can see them on Birds Island.
What happens is that fishermen pull their fish-filled nets there, and crocodiles want the fish.
And, so, they have found a haven there.
I will post a picture in two hours' time.

An experience at Makokola Retreat in Mangochi

I am on foot. I am walking into the up-market Makokola Retreat in Monkey Bay, Mangochi.
The guards, two of them, let you in. Of course, after throwing four, five questions.
You get in-- feeling confident and energesised for the day.
The reception is some 200 metres away from the main gate. My entry point.
About 20 metres from the gate is Mangochi's airstrip. If you want to land in Mangochi, this is the airstrip for you.
Fifty metres, or so, later, a Toyota Hilux comes from the opposite direction. I mean, from the reception area.
Suddenly, it drives past you and stops.
Inside are a husband and wife. They have Malawian names but are of European ancestry.
Their faces are as serious as those of an incensed dog.
They think they are serious, not knowing that their attempt at seriousness is a favourable condition for the growth of pimples. Pimple marks are written all over the face.
"What are you doing here?" It is the man speaking.
He runs the place. Makokola Retreat!
I do not answer. I find the approach un-tourism-like.
"Hey, I say what are you doing here?" The man, visibly irritated, asks again.
Again, I do not answer.
These quacks are delaying me.
"Hey, can't you here me?" The man fires a rhetorical question at me.
"What are you doing on these grounds?"
"What am I doing? Can't you see that I am walking on these grounds?" I ask. These guys are irritating.
"Oh, for the workshop!?"
I do not answer. I do not know whether this is a question or what.
They finally smile.
"Okay,"says the man as the woman, presumably his wife, nods.
They speed off.
These guys have an attitude!
Are people not free to walk on Makokola Retreat premises. Does it matter how one travels to attend a meeting or something at Makokola Retreat?
Anyway, people talk a lot about the attitude of these ill-mannered people there.
It's like only those from Malawi are welcome.
Let me walk on, anyway. Into the premises.

An experience at Makokola Retreat in Mangochi

I am on foot. I am walking into the up-market Makokola Retreat in Monkey Bay, Mangochi.
The guards, two of them, let you in. Of course, after throwing four, five questions.
You get in-- feeling confident and energesised for the day.
The reception is some 200 metres away from the main gate. My entry point.
About 20 metres from the gate is Mangochi's airstrip. If you want to land in Mangochi, this is the airstrip for you.
Fifty metres, or so, later, a Toyota Hilux comes from the opposite direction. I mean, from the reception area.
Suddenly, it drives past you and stops.
Inside are a husband and wife. They have Malawian names but are of European ancestry.
Their faces are as serious as those of an incensed dog.
They think they are serious, not knowing that their attempt at seriousness is a favourable condition for the growth of pimples. Pimple marks are written all over the face.
"What are you doing here?" It is the man speaking.
He runs the place. Makokola Retreat!
I do not answer. I find the approach un-tourism-like.
"Hey, I say what are you doing here?" The man, visibly irritated, asks again.
Again, I do not answer.
These quacks are delaying me.
"Hey, can't you here me?" The man fires a rhetorical question at me.
"What are you doing on these grounds?"
"What am I doing? Can't you see that I am walking on these grounds?" I ask. These guys are irritating.
"Oh, for the workshop!?"
I do not answer. I do not know whether this is a question or what.
They finally smile.
"Okay,"says the man as the woman, presumably his wife, nods.
They speed off.
These guys have an attitude!
Are people not free to walk on Makokola Retreat premises. Does it matter how one travels to attend a meeting or something at Makokola Retreat?
Anyway, people talk a lot about the attitude of these ill-mannered people there.
It's like only those from Malawi are welcome.
Let me walk on, anyway. Into the premises.